To His Coy Admissions Officer

To His Coy Admissions Officer

Had we but world and time,
For you to see me in my prime.
I think that you would soon agree
That I’m the very embodiment of chivalry.
I’d tell you how I love this and that
How I’d be victorious in mortal combat
Till the conversion of the Jews
My supplements, I hope you will peruse.
You’d know how I hate inequality
And I might even be some prodigy.
Should time allow, you would know,
There’s no activity I’d ever forgo.
Twenty four hundred to adore each test,
A mere thirty six for the rest.
My books all have large readership,
I assume all roles of leadership.
My peers, all their achievements they do collate,
But, would I boast at a lower rate?
With time enough you’d need not extort
To know that I take part in every sport.
Should season ever not dictate
You’d soon discover that I debate.
If the passage of time should ever halt,
My knowledge’d become an endless vault.
But at my back I always hear,
That terrible deadline drawing near.
Both our luck is ever cursed
That due date is November first.
Our intimate knowledge was not to be,
The Common App is far too finicky.
Despite your genuine interest,
We’ll know each other like the best.
But while we have the time, lets take advantage
Our valu’ble minutes we should not mismanage.
At every pore with instant desires,
75 dollars my accounts will wire.
Soon enough you’ll learn all I know.
My knowledge: a veritable gateau.
As we pass through the gates of time,
Let’s not worry much about those deadlines.

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