Merchant of Venice Coda by Catherine, Billy, Tiffany, and Melvin

Act 6 Scene 1

Description: Shylock is standing in front of a slum, waiting to exact revenge on the people who turned the law against him.

[Shylock is in front of a slum, pacing]

Shylock: So this is what my wealth has come to

To be betrayed by my flesh and blood

To be betrayed by my own bargain

To be betrayed by my country’s law

I used to lounge in gold and ducats

Now, I’m bound to this god-forsaken religion

How cruel they must be, to have stolen everything from me

They criticize how the Romans crucified Jesus on a cross of wood,

How he was betrayed by one of his closest

Well I was betrayed by one of my closest as well

And crucified on a cross of flesh

Hypocrites! All of them

I will not let this be the end, Antonio and his dastardly crew must use a boat to travel around the cities, to pick up the ducats cold

What they do not know is the sheer weight of these ducats will put their ship in peril,

At that moment, I shall finish the job, their greed will be their demise

 

Act 6 Scene 2

Description: Antonio and his gang are collecting their wealth and putting it onto a boat. The sailor warned that the weight of the gold will sink the boat, and suggested that they not transport it all at once. Elated but blinded by their victory over Shylock, they insist. Shylock stands near the boat, prepared to exact revenge.

Antonio: God truly looks favorably upon his followers The devil has been struck down

Bassanio: Rejoice! Let not this cloud depress us, we’ll collect all of our gold and then some We have riches beyond measure

Portia: Indeed! And if you don’t lose your ring again, we’ll be happily ever after

Sailor: Honestly, I don’t think the ship can hold Portia’s next stash We’ve already slowed significantly

Antonio: Then all the more time to enjoy ourselves! Come, let us drink

[Nerissa and Gratiano emerge from a bedroom]

Bassanio: How was thoust night?

Gratiano: Grand grand, the winds are excellent today, they are truly in our favor

Portia: As have been most of things recently

Sailor: We’ve arrived at Portia’s vault

Bassanio: Well my god love, there is gold further than the eye can see

Portia: I am royalty after all

Antonio: A sight to behold for a money lender like myself! Come let us get this onto our board, we shan’t leave sea for months! We’ll travel the sea, buy the luxurious goods of the far orient. Throw parties in celebration

Gratiano: Well if you look at that, Just over the hill is supposedly the ghetto they relocated the Jew Shylock to

Jessica: [laughs] Thank the lords I ran away when I had the chance

Lorenzo: Everything did work out in the end.

Antonio: Sailor! Let us set sail, to the nearest global marketplace where we’ll buy the finest teas and silks

Sailor: It is as I told you, we can barely hold, the ship is teetering on the edge of sunk at this point!

Antonio: Onward! We will not let our moment of triumph be tarnished by some extra weight

Sailor: As you wish…

Bassanio: I do notice the ship swaying slightly more, and it does feel like we are moving absurdly slowly

Nerissa: Are we sinking?

Portia: No… absolutely not.

Sailor: Wretches, it is as I warned we are sinking and are too far away from shore now to return fast enough

Bassanio: Well this is still no matter, we have plenty of time to get off board and swim back ashore, nothing gained, nothing lost

Antonio: But our money! The gold, the endless sea of wealth beneath us, the finest silks; we need it!

Bassanio: Our lives first! Unless if help comes from the shore we need to get off this sinking ship

Portia: Speak of the devil, do you see that? A figure of hope in the distance! Like the silhouette of Christ himself, descending upon his faithful followers to bless us again. God truly smiles on us

Antonio: Help! help! Hooded figure with the message of a Messiah please help!

Bassanio, Portia, Nerissa, Gratiano, Jessica, Lorenzo together: Help help!

[The figure becomes close enough for his face to be made out]

Jessica: My god, it was in fact the devil coming in the guise of the Messiah once again This incarnate of evil has deceived us again! Quick, we must escape

Antonio: Shylock, sir, give us justice. You know we don’t deserve this, quick, send for help!

Shylock: [snickers] In the same way you withheld your flesh and forsook me to this God-forsaken religion and to a life without wealth. I will be the generous one and give you my flesh, and in doing so forsake you to the God-forsaken waters, away from a life where you are surrounded by just a bit too much gold.

[Shylock takes out a knife and cuts off his arm, with a gold cross around his wrist]

Shylock: Here, take back your religion, take back your gold, see the endless depths

Jessica: Father no please! Save me, I’m your daughter!

Bassanio: Shylock I pleaded with you once, I plead with you again, show some mercy, it is the will of God!

Portia: Yes and the law will reprimand you if you don’t, but it will reward you greatly if you help us!

Shylock: [laughs] Family, bonds, Gods, the laws of men. I once had faith in these things, and where did that leave me. Penniless, without dignity, without lands, without my own daughter.

[Shylock tosses his arm onto the boat, which accelerates their descent, and leaves]

 

 

Reduced A Merchant of Venice

Act 1, Scene 1

 

Enter Antonio, Salarino, and Solanio

 

Antonio: I’m sad.

Salarino: It’s because of your ships. But they will be fine. Trust me.

Antonio: No, that’s not why.

Solanio: Then you’re clearly in love!

Antonio: Nope.

Solanio: Then you’re just in a bad mood…

 

Enter Bassanio, Lorenzo, and Gratiano

 

Gratiano: You don’t look too great Antonio.

Antonio: I have a sad life.

Gratiano: Let me cheer you up then! Some wise men are so sad and silent. But anyways, I’ll see you at dinner tonight!

Antonio: Thanks! See you later!

 

Exeunt Gratiano and Lorenzo

 

Antonio: Bassanio, who is this girl you’ve been talking about?

Bassanio: I’m in so much debt, especially to you.

Antonio: I will do anything to help you.

Bassanio: Well… there is this beautiful and extremely rich girl in Belmont named Portia. If I had some more money, I could marry her.

Antonio: I’ll help pay for you to go to Belmont. Go find a money lender.

 

Exeunt

 

 

 

Act 2, Scene 6

 

Enter the masquers Gratiano and Salarino

 

Gratiano: We’re supposed to meet Lorenzo here.

Salarino: He’s late. Oh. Here he comes.

 

Lorenzo Enters

 

Lorenzo: Sorry I’m late. I’m in love.

 

Enter Jessica above, disguised as a boy

 

Jessica: Who are you?

Lorenzo: It’s me.

Jessica: Catch this box, you won’t regret it. I’m glad you can’t see me dressed as a guy.

Lorenzo: You need to be the torchbearer at the masquerade.

Jessica: What?!? I shouldn’t be doing this.

Lorenzo: Let’s go.

 

Exit Jessica Above

 

Gratiano: She’s too nice to be a Jew!

Lorenzo: Yeah, she’s smart, pretty and kind! I really love her!

 

Enter Antonio

 

Antonio: Gratiano, where have you been? You need to go to Belmont now.

Gratiano: Great. Let’s go!

 

Exeunt

 

 

 

Act 3, Scene 1

 

Enter Solanio and Salarino

 

Salarino: Antonio’s ship crashed at sea!

Solanio: Oh no! That’s horrible news!

 

Enter Shylock

 

Shylock: You knew my daughter would run away!

Salarino: LOL yeah. But it’s alright, kids always run away.

Shylock: She will be damned for this. She’s my flesh and blood.

Salarino: Did you hear about Antonio?

Shylock: Yes, but I’m glad since he has constantly wronged me. We are the same as you Christians, and I will learn from your example by getting revenge.

 

Enter Tubal

 

Shylock: Did you find Jessica?

Tubal: Nope.

Shylock: Oh no! She stole so much! I’d rather have her dead than lose those jewels. I always have such bad luck.

Tubal: Did you hear about Antonio?

Shylock: Thank God!

Tubal: He will go bankrupt.

Shylock: Great! Go have him arrested. I can get my revenge by taking his heart.

 

Exeunt severally

Reduced, Reduced Julius Caesar

“Reduced, Reduced Julius Caesar”

Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare

as brought to you by Period 4 AP Literature and Composition

Class of 2016

 

Act I

Scene 1:

Flauvius: Yo idle creatures aka commoners go home.

Commoners: No. We’re going to see Caesar.

Marullus: Caesar? Bruh, you think Caesar is hella great or something? A few months ago you were worshipping Pompey.

Flauvius: Go home, be ashamed of yourselves. Also, those decorations on Caesars’ statues are hella annoying; we’ll do Rome a favor and get rid of them.

Marullus: k I’ll do that.

Flauvius: k i’ll remove the peasant trash from the roads.

 

Scene 2:

Caesar: “Stand in the way of the runner and touch him when he comes so you can be pregnant.”

Josh-Soothsayer: “Beware the ides of March.”

Caesar: “No.”

Cassius: “Join the conspiracy.”

Brutus: “Why is everybody shouting?”

Jeffrey-Casca: “Caesar refused the crown thrice then had a seizure.”

Everybody-Crowd: “Bruh thrice, thats hella humble.”

Caesar: “Caesar the og hella greatest.”

Brutus: “I’ll think about joining.”

 

Scene 3:

Casca: “The weather are weird.”

Cicero: “Weird things is happening.”

Cassius: “Join the conspiracy pls

Casca: “Ok.”

Cassius: “We need to get Brutus to join the conspiracy.”

Bro lemme tell you smth, you are 10 times better than that lame fool caesar. you more handsome you are more massive you are more smart. you all around are just a beast. and he is a house rat.

 

Act II

SCENE 1

Brutus: I see a letter.

Oh! The people think I’m great. Therefore, I should kill Caesar—it’s for the good of the people.

Cassius: Let us conspire.

Brutus: Let’s be sacrificers, but not butchers…but yeah let’s kill him.

Portia: You never tell me anything, I’m confused and lonely and you’re a crappy husband because I’m not a harlot—I’m your wife. What is even up?

Brutus: Nothing.

 

SCENE 2

Calpurnia: Caesar, don’t go, there’s weird things happening and it’s bad outside. I had a dream. I think you’re gonna die.

Caesar: I am a god, and don’t heed omens, so I’m going anyway.

Decius: Don’t listen to your wife. Go anyway.

Caesar: Wives are useless. Of course I’m going.

 

SCENE 3

Artemidorus: I need to give Caesar my letter, otherwise he will die.

 

SCENE 4

Portia: I am worried. Has Caesar gone to the Capitol yet?

Soothsayer: I go to take my stand to see him pass on to the Capitol.

Portia: OK, cool.  Ay me, how weak a thing the heart of a woman is! Tell me what happens, I’m only a woman.

 

Act III

Scene 1:

Caesar: “Look, it’s fine, I’m not in danger.”

*Caesar is stabbed many times by Brutus and company”

Antony: “Yo, I’m crying. Let me speak at his funeral, pl0x.”

Brutus: “kk.”

Antony: “I’ll get revenge later.”

 

Scene 2:

Brutus: “Caesar was ambitious. Thank me later. I’m out guys.”

Crowd: “Yay thanks.”

Antony: “Caesar’s actions show he wasn’t ambitious. Brutus says he was ambitious. And Brutus is an honorable man.”

Crowd: “Yes you’re right!”

 

Scene 3:

Plebian: “Get him, he’s Cinna!”

Cinna the Poet: “Yo it’s not me. I’m just a poet. 😦 ”

Plebian: “It is no matter, his name’s Cinna.”

*Crowd attacks Cinna*

 

Act IV
Scene 1

Antony:

These many, then, shall die. Their names are pricked.

Octavius:

Lepidus, your brother must die too. And your nephew as well Antony.

Antony:

Ok.

(Lepidus leaves)

Antony:
Wow he is so useless, but we can use him as our puppet.

Octavius:

He’s an honorable man, but sure.

 

Scene 2

Brutus:

In his own change or by ill officers. Hath given me some worthy cause to wish things done, undone. There seems to be something off about Cassius, maybe we shouldn’t have killed Caesar.

(Cassius Arrives)

Cassius:

Everyone stop! Brutus, you have done something to wrong me.

Brutus:

What? Let’s speak in private. Guards, guard the door.

 

Scene 3

Cassius:

You condemned Lucius Pella without my permission and you’ve been ignoring me.

Brutus:

No, why would you defend him? It’s you that’s wrong. You’re greedy!

Cassius:

No you’re greedy!

Brutus:

You’re corrupt and I don’t want to be that kind of official.

Cassius:

Don’t provoke me. If you hate me so much then here’s my sword, kill me.

Brutus:

No, put your sword away. Sorry, when I spoke I was ill-tempered.

Cassius:

Me too, come shake my hand.

Poet:

Brutus, your wife is dead.

Cassius:

Portia!

Brutus:

She is dead. Let’s not talk about it.

Massala:

Cicero is dead.

Brutus:
Let’s go to Phillipi to fight.

 

Act V

SCENE I

Brutus/Cassius: “Words before blows. Is it so countrymen?”

Octavius/Antony: You are true villains, traitors! Caesar’s wounds will be well avenged!

Brutus/Cassius: We acted with honor and best intentions for Rome, you are “worthless of such honor” Caesar

Octavius: Come now, Antony, we will fight!

Exit (Antony/Octavius)

Cassius: You know, Messala, I was quite doubtful of symbols like crows and mighty eagles falling, but, in the face of recent events, i fear the fate of our future. (BT dubs, its mah burfday)

Brutus: This may be the last time we speak, For ever, and for ever, Farewell Cassius!

Cassius: Farewell Brutus!

Exeunt

 

SCENE II

Brutus: Octavius’ troops suck, let’s quickly attack, they’ll be defeated!

Exeunt

 

SCENE III

Cassius: Titinius, go up to that hill and check out our camp. Are those fires our tents?

Pindarus: Oh no!! EHHHH He’s been captured Cassius!

Cassius: Titinius is dead! And it’s all my fault! Pindarus, my servant, please, take my sword and kill me. [ASIDE] “Caesar, thou art  avenged” by the blade that ended thee.

Titinius: Cassius! Congratulations! They were our frien….CASSIUS!! I cannot live kills himself

Cato: He is slain, brave Titinius, bye!

Brutus: I will mourn for both of you at a later time. For now: we must continue the fight

Exuent

 

SCENE IV

Lucius: Young Cato, have you been killed! Aside I will be captured, I shall distract them. “…I am Brutus, Marcus Brutus, I!”

Soldier: Tell Antony we’ve captured the noble Brutus

Enter Antony

Antony: Guys, this isn’t Brutus. Keep this prisoner safe anyway, treat him with kindness.

Exuent

 

SCENE V

Brutus: ”Slaying is the word; It is a deed in fashion”. Clitus…? Dardanius…?

Clitus/Dardanius: We could never do such a thing my lord!

Brutus: The ghost of Caesar has appeared to me twice, and now I know, my time has come. Our enemies have defeated us. Voluminus, I’ve know you since I was a child, hold my sword while I run on it.

Voluminus: That’s not what friends do!

Brutus: Fly, countrymen! I shall have glory this day! You all fly, I will follow

[Exuent Cltius, Dardanius, Voluminus]

Brutus: Strato, will you please hold my sword as run on it. Caesar, now be still: I killed not thee with half so good a will.

Brutus dies, enter Antony, Octavius and company

Antony: Oh noble Brutus, he was the only conspirator that acted solely for the common good. All the world will say: “This was a man”.

Exuent omnes.